This time last year, I was a ball of nervous excitement and adrenaline as I faced the challenge of working for myself. One year on and the nervous excitement still lingers. That being said a lot has changed. For one, I don't think of myself as a full time blogger or a freelance writer anymore. I still blog and freelance but primarily I'm a business owner. Considering that I left my job because I wanted to write more, I do have mixed feelings about this.
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Earning the title of writer was a big goal for me and formed so much of my identity. I wasn't just going to blog or freelance, I was going to veer into fiction and write a script or a book. I've wanted to be known as a great storyteller for a long time. Over the last year, that has become less important.
My biggest goal right now is making the BBB network a successful and sustainable business. I'm really passionate about it and I believe it has so much potential. One of the hardest things about starting and running this business is admitting it's a business. When people ask, I have a tendency to be coy and say 'I'm just doing things on the internet' before staring off into the distance and changing the subject.
There is the fear that the moment I say it out loud that yes I have started my own adult sized business that it will suddenly become too real. Accountants and business managers will come leaping out of the woodwork asking for business plans and VAT numbers. I'm not ready for that noise. There is a lot of fear attached to owning your own business because there is so much you feel you should know. I'm learning as I go along. Putting my best foot forward each time but I am afraid to make a misstep.
I still struggle with the pressure to be successful but I've come to accept that it may never go away. Not all pressure is bad. This is the sort of pressure that gets me out of bed every morning and has me doing the work. Speaking of which, I still can't get over that fact that I actually enjoy the work.
Real talk though, the financial side of things has been tricky. I can not stress enough how living at home and living extremely frugally has helped get BBB off the ground. I haven't seen the inside of a club since NYE and if my phone was child, it would be starting school. I am hopeful that this time next year, I'll feel more secure. I don't want to rush the process but I can't lie I miss having a steady income. It's difficult to plan your future when your financial future looks hazy.
I am still enjoying the journey and I do believe this is what I am supposed to be doing. I will aim to do another update in 6 months. If you've started your own business or are debating it, I would love to hear your thoughts and go ahead and hit the like button if you enjoyed this post.